I just wanted a sandwich, not a lap full of lettuce.

OK, I’ve had enough.
Normally, my patience threshold is set rather high [currently set to ‘rhinocerous tranquiliser’].
But this is IT.

In a fit of desperation, motivated mainly by hunger [and, to a lesser extent, dialectical issues], I found myself purchasing a cheese salad sandwich last night. Don’t ask why, it’s not worth it.

After many a moment plotting an intricate strategem to navigate said sandwich to my mouth, I muttered a quick prayer [to Lacta, goddess of cheese] and gave it the good ol’ college try.

Remind me never to go back to that college.

How can someone construct a sandwich so poorly, that the main components [cheese and salad] actually inhibit the gorging process? The act of removing one sandwich dislodged the top half of the second sandwich, causing a veritable smorgasboard of cheese salad onto my lap. Streuth.

So THAT’S IT. I’m hereby boycotting all cheese salad sandwiches and all subsiduary paraphanelia, and I want all of you with a shred of moral fibre to do the same.

This cold-blooded attack on sartorial innocence has being going on for TOO LONG.

(Oh, and they’re probably not very good for you either.)



Filed under humour, irreverence

2 responses to “I just wanted a sandwich, not a lap full of lettuce.

  1. Twenty Two

    Serves you right, John. Cheap Cheese is nothing but that, remember that.


  2. John Gregson

    Let’s see…with a name quoting Star Trek…

    That HAS to be Ed.

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