The Apprentice (or how I learned to stop worrying and love popular culture)

No, I didn’t actually watch ‘The Apprentice’.
But I did the next best thing, and spoke to someone about it.
Conversation has fewer adverts than TV, and no licence fee.
And when I tell jokes, occasionally the other person laughs, rather than stare blankly back at me, pixels refreshing like digital tumbleweeds.
That’s never good for your self-esteem.
So, I heard a bit about the latest episode of ‘The Apprentice’, by all accounts a rather good one, including a comically melodramatic “No, no, no, no…Noooooooooooooo!” from someone called Ben.
Anyway, the thrust of the gist of the synopsis I heard, was that the results for the tasks were rather bizarre – the losing team sold a home birthing pool, and a rocking horse.
So this led onto a conversation about what sort of products they should they have picked, in order to sell the highest number in the shortest time, at the lowest cost.
When it dawned on me – they almost picked the right products, but they didn’t take it far enough.
Birthing pool? Too conventional.
Rocking horse? Bit anachronistic and staid, now, really.
“No,” the mad scientist in me is cackling, “…no, what about a bit of manipulation…let’s tamper with the natural order of things…”
The optimum strategy is to sell Worthless, Potentially HARMFUL products that will appeal only to the deranged.
Something Worthless. And Potentially HARMFUL.
A Rocking Pool. Throw the baby out with the bath water.
A Birthing Horse. I see a hoof!
‘The Apprentice’ seems to be an entertaining program, but they’ll have to up the insanity quotient on the show before I start to take an interest.
Honestly, it reflects worse on them than me.

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