"Any of us could be part skeleton."

This is why I love The Onion:

AL JIZAH, EGYPT—A team of British and Egyptian archaeologists made a
stunning discovery Monday, unearthing several intact specimens of “skeleton
people”—skinless, organless humans who populated the Nile delta region an
estimated 6,000 years ago.

“This is an incredible find,” said Dr. Christian Hutchins, Oxford
University archaeologist and head of the dig team. “Imagine: At one time, this
entire area was filled with spooky, bony, walking skeletons.”

It’s like The Huffington Post, but with a functioning grasp of reality. Or WorldNetDaily. Or…actually, it’s like the whole internet, but with a functioning grasp of reality.

Follow the current Evolution vs. Creationism/ID/[whatever it’s politically called this week] to see real-life application of this wonderful satire:

According to Hutchins, the skeletons bear numerous similarities to humans,
leading him to suspect that there may be an evolutionary link between the two
“Like humans, these creatures walked upright on two legs and
possessed highly developed opposable thumbs,” Edmund-White said. “These and many
other similarities lend credence to the theory that hundreds of thousands of
years ago, human development passed through a skeletal stage. These skeletons
may, in fact, be ancestors of us all.”

“Any of us could be part skeleton,” he added.

Other experts disagreed.

“The evidence of an evolutionary link between humans and skeletons is
sparse at best,” said Dr. Terrance Schneider of the University of Chicago.
“Furthermore, it is downright unscientific to theorize that skeleton life
originated in Egypt merely because mummies, another species of monster, are
indigenous to the area. Spooky creatures are found all over the world, from the
vampires of Transylvania to the headless horsemen of Sleepy Hollow.”

I want a placard that says, in big day-glo red, “I didn’t come from no skeleton!”

Or, “If we evolved from skeletons, why do we still have fossils?”

[Addendum – the main reason for this post, was my fascination with this update on ScienceDaily http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090602083729.htm which piqued my interest somewhat, and I remembered the old Onion article. Will write about music next time, promise.]


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Filed under humour, irreverence, science

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