Call off the search – the gremlins behind tech failures in Facebook have been traced to HG Wells.
Category Archives: humour
This is why I love The Onion:
AL JIZAH, EGYPT—A team of British and Egyptian archaeologists made a
stunning discovery Monday, unearthing several intact specimens of “skeleton
people”—skinless, organless humans who populated the Nile delta region an
estimated 6,000 years ago.
“This is an incredible find,” said Dr. Christian Hutchins, Oxford
University archaeologist and head of the dig team. “Imagine: At one time, this
entire area was filled with spooky, bony, walking skeletons.”
It’s like The Huffington Post, but with a functioning grasp of reality. Or WorldNetDaily. Or…actually, it’s like the whole internet, but with a functioning grasp of reality.
According to Hutchins, the skeletons bear numerous similarities to humans,
leading him to suspect that there may be an evolutionary link between the two
“Like humans, these creatures walked upright on two legs and
possessed highly developed opposable thumbs,” Edmund-White said. “These and many
other similarities lend credence to the theory that hundreds of thousands of
years ago, human development passed through a skeletal stage. These skeletons
may, in fact, be ancestors of us all.”
“Any of us could be part skeleton,” he added.
Other experts disagreed.
“The evidence of an evolutionary link between humans and skeletons is
sparse at best,” said Dr. Terrance Schneider of the University of Chicago.
“Furthermore, it is downright unscientific to theorize that skeleton life
originated in Egypt merely because mummies, another species of monster, are
indigenous to the area. Spooky creatures are found all over the world, from the
vampires of Transylvania to the headless horsemen of Sleepy Hollow.”
I want a placard that says, in big day-glo red, “I didn’t come from no skeleton!”
Or, “If we evolved from skeletons, why do we still have fossils?”
[Addendum – the main reason for this post, was my fascination with this update on ScienceDaily http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090602083729.htm which piqued my interest somewhat, and I remembered the old Onion article. Will write about music next time, promise.]
Inspired by this wonderful Googlewhack-inspired post from the xkcd blag, I’m trying to find some phrases that elicit NO responses from Google. Although anyone who can find a googol of responses will win some sort of prize (maybe a copy of my CD, should it ever be finished. The probability is roughly the same for both).
Having had an exceedingly hectic Winter term (of my own design), I rewarded myself over the holiday with a gift.
I gave myself the luxury of avoiding e-mail.
So, this may explain why I’m only answering e-mails just now, why I’m doing a New Year’s Day post now, and why I feel so darn relaxed. Now and forever more, I hope.
The Panto (‘The Sleeping Beauty’) went exceptionally well, sold out every night, so thanks to everyone who turned up, and all those who worked so hard to make it a success. The band sounded (I’m reliably informed) fantastic, so huge thanks to our great MD Russell Collins.
This holiday period has also given me the chance to sample the wares of Blues Jam Tracks, a company set up by Guitarist magazine mainstays Jan Cyrka and Adrian Clark. They provide an absolutely marvellous service – high quality backing tracks, wonderful videos, and very accurate transcriptions of some rather finger-knotting solos from Guthrie Govan!
I don’t work for the company, so this is a highly impartial recommendation to give them a try.
Well, it’s kept my fingers warm over the Scottish winter, so they have to be good!
Thanks for reading, all the best for the year,
P.S. No Resolutions yet, except for a functioning V7-I 7-3. Will keep you posted if I come up with anything.
Yes, ’tis the season to be jolly excited about yelling advice to stage dames.